Weekend Update

Hi friends. The weekend has come to an end. It was a fun one. I had to work half a day on Saturday, but it went smoothly. We are always more productive on Saturdays. I believe the primary reason is that we are mostly left alone to work. It’s amazing what people can do when their time is not under assault and they can focus on actual work.

We ended up skipping church today. Denice wasn’t feeling well this morning, and being the spawn of Satan that I am, I was perfectly content to lay out with her.

As you who follow the blog know, I cycle off my health protocol on the weekends. This usually amounts to me going off the rails with junk food. This weekend wasn’t as bad as usual. I found myself wanting water more than soda. That’s strange since I don’t drink soda all week. I think it may have a lot to do with how I have started taking caffeine pills (very low dose) during the week to stave off caffine withdrawal. I suppose as a side effect it’s dulling my desire for soft drinks in general. I guess this is a good thing.

Tomorrow begins a new week. I hope you all kick ass and take names! That’s what we used to say back in the day when we wanted to sound tough. Till tomorrow.

Cheat day… um, I mean weekend

This weekend has been especially┬ádebaucherous. I have eaten so much sugary junk that I have insulin leaking out of my eyes. It’s been great!

I’m going to modify my protocol for the next couple of weeks. For starters I am going to follow a five on/two off eating cycle. I’ve been having trouble keeping my ‘cheat day’ contained in just one actual day. I don’t have a lot of problems doing Slow Carb during the week, since I am at work and don’t have time to think about all the delicious food I could be eating. On the weekend it’s a different story. So, I am going to test out doing a strict five days of Slow Carb on an eighteen/six-hour intermittent fasting schedule. That is actually an increase in my eating window. I’ve been doing a three-hour eating window, so I will be doubling it. The real change is going to be attempting to stay 100% compliant with Slow Carb for five days out of the week. I think that if I can do that I will still be within the ‘minimum effective dose’ that I need to keep the fat coming off.

The rest of the protocol will be staying more or less the same. I will still be doing the Wim Hoff Method twice a day (two sets of thirty deep breath/retentions), and ending my nightly showers on five minutes of cold. This doesn’t sound like a lot, but I think it is enough to get the effect I am looking for. Now for the excercise.

It turns out that I was doing the wrong excercise protocol from the Four Hour Body. I am going to be doing a slightly modified version of Occam’s Protocol for the next couple of weeks. Occam’s Protocol is a super minimalist routine that only requires a maximum of one hour a week (two workouts of less than thirty minutes). The protocol involves doing weight lifting at a very slow cadence of five seconds up and five seconds down, and continuing the set until muscle failure (the inability to move the weight). It is completely different from any method that I have ever tried, and I am excited to see if it will work for me.

To sum things up, I am going to be eating like Homer Simpson on the weekends, and walking the talk on the week days. Hopefully that will be enough to keep the fitness train moving. We will see.

Slow Carb: ‘Fuck the Rules Day’

20161105_084229It has begun. Fuck the Rules day is here. It is also weigh-in day, and I am happy to report that I lost ten pounds last week! That puts me at 242 pounds. Now, let’s shred some rules! I am writing this at the end of the day, so let me take you on a journey. Follow me and I will lead in into a world where few healthy people ever brave to go… the Fat Guy Food Binge. And what better way to start the day but with some Reese’s Cups and that sweet nectar of the Gods – Coco Cola. It’s eight o’clock in the morning, by the way. This is the earliest I have eaten food in months, and the first time I have had caffeine in a week.

Denice is awake now, and it is time to cook breakfast. It feels weird to say that. In fact, eating at this hour seems completely abnormal now, but here we go. Let’s make some pancakes, eggs, and bacon. delish! The bacon is microwavable pre-cooked bacon, by the way. Frying bacon is extremely messy. Oh, and the eggs are free-range organic.





Breakfast did taste good, but it was very heavy on my stomach. I felt lethargic for hours after this feast. I had planned on snacking a lot in between meals. I felt too full to pull this off though. I did however eat a few nachos and cheese sauce before dinner (sorry, no photo). I was actually so full that I had to skip lunch. I had planned on doing cheeseburgers and french fries, but I did not feel that I could do that and still handle dinner. And for dinner, you ask? Well, what else but Pizza…


What you are looking at is a large pan pizza from Pizza Hut. On my half I have pepperoni and bacon, and on Denice’s… sausage, banana peppers, and pineapple (gag). I chased this down with a big glass of Dr. Pepper. I struggled to eat three out of my four slices. It was just too much.

And for the grand finale, the icing on the cake, or in my case: the brownies in the pan.







It’s hard to tell from this last photo, but by the end of this day of gluttony, I feel totally sick. I mean on the verge of barfing sick. The one thing that I thought was notable about today was the fact that none of this junk food gave me the same sense of satisfaction, or ‘high’ if you will that it once did. It tasted hollow, and in the end made me feel terrible. The Dr. Pepper in particular just didn’t do it for me. I found myself longing for water, just good old, ice-cold, water.

I think the reasoning behind needing a caloric surge once a week is sound, however, I am questing my decision to make it a day of bingeing on processed junk. I think what I will do next cheat day is try to eat more healthy, but in a greater quantity that normal. I will probably also do some whole food starches, like potatoes, and possibly fruit. After all, I need to get a wide variety of micro-nutrients in, so this seems like a perfect opportunity.

That’s all for this Slow Carb series. I’ll post updates periodically, but I’m moving on to other topics tomorrow.

Slow Carb: Day Six

I have almost completed one full week of Slow Carb. Tomorrow morning I weigh in. I can tell by the fit of my clothes that I have definitely lost weight. Tomorrow also begins, Fuck the Rules Day!

I plan a full day of debauchery. Probably going to hit the store tonight, and get some junk. Can’t wait.

I feel the need to justify my wicked plans. According to Tim Ferriss and several Internet doctors that I have heard, having a day to go crazy is essential to the long-term success of Slow Carb and Intermittent Fasting. The logic basically says that the metabolism begins to slow down after an extended time of caloric restriction. This is the proposed reason why caloric restriction dieting almost never works over time. With a “cheat day” you can ramp up the calories, and get a kind of metabolic reset. Or at least that’s what I have heard. I’m going to need a few weeks of doing this to gauge if it will really work for me.

Tonight is movie night with our best friends, and there will be junk food. unfortunately, I can’t have any of it. It is not yet my time.

The Cheat Day

screenshot_20161015-200736This weeks cheat day is now officially over. Saturday is my day to relax my eating regimen. I still practice Intermittent Fasting and abide by my 3PM to 7PM eating window, but I allow myself to eat more and worse than usual. Today I started things off with a peanut butter and cheese sandwich with some corn chips and queso. After than, I made Denice and myself some frozen pizza. And for the finale, we had some asian pot-stickers, and cake. Oh, almost forgot… I had a couple of twelve ounce Dr. Peppers. The day would not be complete without that.

In spite of my far less than perfect food choices throughout the week and my off-the-rails cheat days, I still managed to lose another five pounds. I am now down to 253 pounds. I know you’re probably thinking that me, at five-foot-seven and 253, is still extremely fat. You would be correct. However, I started this Intermittent Fasting program in July, and I was 295 then. I am making steady progress, about a three-pound average loss per a week.

My goal for next week is to step up my excercise to a higher level. My job is mildly physical, so I get a light workout all day long. I did a couple of quick (about fifteen minute) resistance workouts last week. It was nothing extreme, just dumbbell bench press, curls, squats, and crunches. Next week I am going to try to do a resistance workout every day, and push it up to thirty minutes. And to really get the most fat-burning bang for the buck, I will make sure to do it in a fasted state. After about twelve hours of fasting, my glycogen stores should be running on empty. This is the perfect time to workout for fat loss. Your body has no option but to pull from its fat reserves.

I have never felt this in control of my life. Fasting is an amazing tool.