Yesterday was Denice’s birthday. I took her out to eat, and we had a really good time. We were in our separate vehicles since we both just got off work. Before we left for home Denice told me that she was going to go to her choir rehearsal tonight. This was good because I needed a little time to get her birthday decorations set up at the house. So, I race home, knowing that the dogs have been inside for quiet a while, and needed to be let out to do their business. When I arrived at my house it was just getting dark. I noticed a strange girl on my neighbors porch. She was banging on the door. I immediately sensed that this was bad news, and tried to covertly make my way inside. Well, she saw me. The next thing I know this girl is stumbling my way, shouting, “Hay! Hay you!” Being the boy scout that I am, I couldn’t just make a dash for the house and lock the door behind me, so I let her make her slow and uncoordinated way to me. Upon smelling her breath it was apparent that she was heavily intoxicated.
The girl was in her early twenties, by my estimation, and very clingy. She was practically falling all over me, asking me for a ride to the gas station up the street. This did not look good. However, I wasn’t going to leave her to her own devices. Once I summed up the situation, I had planned on calling the cops as soon as I was able to get inside the house. Someone like her did not need to be stumbling all over the place, right next to busy road. She was obviously a danger to herself. So, I told her to wait by my truck, and that I would be right back. Yeah, that didn’t work. She followed me all the way down the driveway, and was leaning on me from behind while I was trying to unlock the door. Of course you know what happens next. Fate wouldn’t have it any other way.
Denice pulls in the driveway to the sight of me and some strange female leaning on my shoulders, about to enter our house. I don’t think it could have looked any worse. I maneuvered my way out of her unwanted embrace and scurried over to Denice. she was like, “What the hell is going on?” I quickly rattled off the details of what just happened. She was shocked, but of course she believed me. Thank God my wife knows me better than that!
Anyway, drunk girl eventually got frustrated that I wasn’t complying with her demands to taxi her down the street, so she stumbled away. We called and alerted the cops to her drunken antics, and never seen her again.
The moral of the story is: drunk chicks are not to be fucked with. They are bad news on many levels. Just stay in the car, and call the cops.