A few thoughts on Valentine’s day and relationships

It’s Valentines day, and I have had the honor and pleasure of spending it with my best friend and soul mate, Denice. Our relationship has grown stronger and sweeter with each passing year. She is so special to me, and I am beyond thankful for her.

We had a very simple celebration. I was at work until noon, but when I got home we went out to Chipotle, and then came home to cuddle on the couch. I got her a dozen roses and a card, and she wrote me a very touching and heart-felt letter. It has been a very enjoyable day.

Out of all of the couples I know, and I’m not saying this to boast, we have the best relationship. In a moment I will attempt to explain why I think this is.

Denice and I don’t fight. I couldn’t imagine raising my voice to her. We make it a point to put each others needs ahead of our own. We love with passion, and fall asleep in each others arms every night. When I’m with her everything is right in the world. However, from what I’ve seen, this is not the norm. Why?

I think the secret ingredient in our relationship that seems to be missing from so many is simple equality and respect.

I don’t view Denice as subservient in any way. I don’t call her my “helper”  or “other half.” I don’t call her my “ball and chain” or “old lady.” I esteem her as a coequal partner who chooses every day to love me and make a life with me. I believe this mutual respect and love is the foundation of our relationship.

Here are a few simple things that we do (or don’t do) that may help you if you have tension with your loved one…

  • Don’t point out your mate’s weaknesses, mistakes, and short comings. They know their problems, and really don’t need/want you to shine a spotlight on them.
  • Never raise your voice in anger. This has always been common sense to me. You don’t yell at people you love.
  • Just because you are in a close relationship with someone doesn’t mean you have a right to disrespect their privacy. Don’t read their private things without permission. Don’t break into their email, text messages, or social accounts. If you want someone to be open with you they must trust you.
  • Tell them you love them, often. This should go with out saying. Denice and I never part company without a kiss and expressing our love for one another.
  • Don’t get mad if they find someone else attractive. If you don’t have enough security in your relationship to express your natural attraction for another person without someone flying off the handle – you have issues.
  • Respect their time. It is a privilege when your mate shares their time with you, not an entitlement. Don’t interrupt them when you know they’re busy. Don’t bug them to get off the phone when you want them to pay attention to you. If you want more of their time and attention, then just readily share more of your time with them. Human beings naturally reciprocate, especially with those they love.

That’s all for now. Stay thirsty my friends.

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